“Fans” Review “Everyone I Know Is an Alcoholic”

While we’re waiting for Boobs, Butts, and Feets to finally come out, I’ve been testing the waters to see how random people might feel about it by shopping “Everyone I Know Is an Alcoholic” around. I’ve submitted it to podcasts, posted about it on message boards, and most recently, I paid to have it reviewed via SoundOut. I didn’t even know that was a thing you could do, and since it wasn’t too expensive, I jumped on it.

Forty-seven people listened to it and wrote a short review. I got the results today. Over the years, I’ve read plenty of mini-reviews here and there. I don’t think I read a single negative review about it…before today.

I knew they weren’t going to all be nice; I figured they’d all be average scores with average opinions. You know, like a 4-6 rating range. It turns out I was right on that, but it’s crazy just how many people apparently loved it and how many people hated it.

Let’s start by looking at this chart that I’m unable to figure out where the statistics came from.

Everyone is their own worst critic, but I would say the weakest characteristic of “Everyone I Know Is an Alcoholic” is the production. I recorded it nearly 10 years ago, and I believe it sounds about as good as possible at this point without re-recording or re-doing parts, but yeah, it’s what I like the least about it. Vocals are apparently the least favorite part of it, according to this survey. If that’s an accurate representation of the average person, I wonder what they’d think about all my other songs because, to me, it’s some of my finer vocal work. I don’t know.

The bar graph isn’t the best thing to go by. The written word should be what you really want to figure stuff like this out. Again, 47 people wrote a little blurb about this song. The point of this blog post is to let you read some of these. If you’re reading this, you probably have heard “Alcoholic.” If you haven’t, I wonder how much you want to listen to it after reading these reviews.

I’m putting this out here now. Some of these make me think it’s obvious that they didn’t actually listen to the song. On top of that, few of them have a decent grasp of the English language. Anyway, I’ll start with the best rating and move on to the lowest rating. Here we go…

Rating: 10
this is a very cool rock ive ever hear. very beautiful picking of the bass guitar. the lyrics are clear and cold to hear . a very smooth rock songs that really dont need to scream. the quality of your voice makes the songs perfect. you have a very genra . looking forward from your upcoming songs. But how wish for your next song you will put more tones , by the electric guitar. i think it sounds very amazing.

Rating: 8
thought this song at the start wasn’t to catching but as soon as i kept listening i started to enjoy it more and listening to the lyrics and understand how true they are has a huge impact on the song itself, so yeah in the end i enjoyed it

Rating: 8
This piece of music is very upbeat and fun to listen too.The loud and fast beats ties in well with the grumble sounding vocals.The message sent through the lyrics may not be appropriate to younger audiences for mature subjects.I reccommend this sound for a fast or up-beat dance for that is exactly what the song is!Drums and human-made noises can be identified through the piece with a few electronic sounding sounds.

Rating: 7
I liked the upbeat electric start with some drums being played in the back. The singing effect definitely goes with the background music. The singing kind of brought the mood of the song down, the singing was not that happy or upbeat. The singers voice sounded kind of unhappy.

Rating: 7
the synthesiser is crazy! id tone it down, so it oscilates a little late. love the vocals and they work great with the lyrics, tempo and backing! id quieten the synth and louden the vocals because they’re great. love the contrast between loud and quiet sections, they really add interest

Rating: 7
It sounds very upbeat and the man is very nice to listen to and it would be great in the background of gaming or to jog to or workout. It sounds very robotic and I think it would nice for a party and would sell a good amount.

Rating: 7
The voxals are very rhythimic and they are presented very nicely.Production has good impact to the rest of the song and i think it is very funky and jazzy to listen to.I think there there is a drum at the background and there is a tuba also being played at the main chorus.This is one of the happiest songs i have ever listened to!

Rating: 6
The vocals are harsh toned. The music is obviously in a melody to dance too. Complimenting to a rave scene. A punk dance song. Lyrics are repetitive, catchy due to its simplicity. Nothing new age or profound. Just a song to dance to and drink with your alcoholic friends.

Rating: 6
good introduction, the vocal style fits in perfectly with the electro style. it sounds like they have been practicing this for a while. the production style is high quality but the lyrics sometimes go out of beat and are too simple! the drop is quite good, the long pause but everything comes back in suddenly!

Rating: 6
This song feels like a blast to the past, sending the listener back to the 1980s. I like that this song has a bit of a social commentary, commenting on how people act and how society is influenced so much by alcohol. I like the novelty of this song, and how it abruptly starts and stops, like the artist is putting every thought they have into this song.

Rating: 6
omg this is the type of music i actually like i love the remix/beat in the background but his voice sounds terrible please don’t take offence for this. this is only my opinion therefore i have rated this song a 6 out of the full mark 10

Rating: 6
this song is a very interesting song it sounds like it was made for a video game and when i mean video game i mean a arcade game that you hear in the 90’s. overall this song is bad unless are living in the 90s and like playing video games. this song is like a techno dance type song

Rating: 5
The synthesizer in the intro is a very upbeat nice sounding theme. I don’t truly understand why the Lyrics would be about being an alcoholic, The music.. I guess this song is about the love of partying? This song has really no appeal to me as I do not drink, and it sounds kind of obnoxious. The singer though, his notes match the song. I think he sings a little too deep, but he does not skip a beat. If they were to add more lyrics other than just “I love to drink beer, I love to drink wine” It’d be a whole better song. Half way in, the background theme stops the drum beat which sounds pretty fitting for an ending part. As the singer starts to sing quieter and quieter.. the song just cuts and it feels like they left something out. It kind of annoys me with that.

Rating: 5
The introduction was kind of cool. Im really digging the techno sound of the beat. The concept and lyrics are fantastic. The vocalist is good i just think he needs to bring up the volume.The drums were kind of weak. Loved the tempo ot really fits the beat

Rating: 5
This song has a bit of a early 90’s late 80’s feel to it but I am not sure how well it would do with today’s demographic. I think just taking the effect of the vocalists voice would help but overall the songs a bit different from the ordinary.

Rating: 4
I like the beat. It is great at stating what alcohol is bad. This song is great with the beat and the singer’s voice. It’s great at the encore. Nothing would need to be changed in this song that would be perfect for a rave party at someones home. The instruments are also catchy with all the sound effects that it has.

Rating: 4
this song starts off cool with a good beat constantly soundinbetter by the second. the lyrics are a bit strang but its cetchy. the more the song progresses the wierder the lyrics get, although they contasyl repeat the ones already said. in the middle of te song the beat changes into a suddel tissing sound. the sonshoes zero emotion and wont catch americas eye. the production altogther is not what im fond of because the vocals are too dull so the music over powers them. on e the song gets to the end the vocal rang increass knto a heavy metal type of style. the song ends horribly because the highest part of the song is meant to be the middle but in this one its at the end so it ends roughly. the song repeats much of its lyrics but shows some character and potential.

Rating: 4
i imagine this song to be played behind an alien invasion game. it is very techno. with that being said, i like the lyrics, they speak to me on a different level. considering im a teen that is interested in partying i like the sound of the lyrics. however if the song was slowed down a bit with more instruments then sound effects added, it woild be a much better song.

Rating: 3
Intro could use a bit of a wind up so its not so sudden. Melody is introduced very uniquely, it is quite interesting. The lyrical intro part seems to drag on a little too long. This style of singing gets bland and boring after a while. The song needs and actual melody.

Rating: 3
the intro is very high energy, the synth melody is such an 80’s throwback but a fun one. the vocals add an edge, there is a menacing sound to his vocals that reminds me of trent reznor or danzig, this song is odd, the lyrics about drinking become campy. this is an odd song but i do credit how unique it is.

Rating: 3
The production was decent, but the vocals and instruments were repetitive. I also found it to be slightly annoying. The vocals were also very bland and a little too quiet to be heard behind the instrumentals. The electronic part of the song did not match the rest of the instruments.

Rating: 3
A digital production that was put together on a computer. the effects were overused and were harsh on the ear. the vocals also digitalised were not appealing. the melody was on a loop and not inspiring. overall the structure was simple but sounded complex. the style was 1980ish, so with a modern twist it could sound better.

Rating: 2
I think the song is decent I guess. To be honest, it really isnt he music that interests me. I really don’t like the beat, or the lyrics. The lyrics is what makes the song fall off. It has great quality to be honest. Not the best.

Rating: 2
the sound of the song seems inspired by electro music and futuristic sound effects. the vocals come off robotic because they don’t project any emotion. the singing style is very mono toned and a bit spooky. the lyrics are hard to make out becase of the auto tune. the beat of the song doesn’t compliment the vocals. the lyrics are very shallow and don’t stand out. overall the song is tooo weird for radio

Rating: 2
This song is absolutely terrible. It is extremely repetitive and also terribly annoying. I would never listen to this song if I had the choice. However, I do have to say it is very catchy. It would be great on a commercial because its one of those songs that gets stuck in your head.

Rating: 2
i dont like this song it sounds very retro and this songs lyrics is horrible all it is about is alcohol and sadness. i think if they added better lyrics and changed up the song a little more they would have a big hit and probably make allot of money off of it.

Rating: 2
This is awful i hate it, it sounds like eastern european men shouting at strippers in a dance club, dont like it at all. Too much edm is overdoing it. Also backing tracks are bad the vocals are rubbish and the music drowns out these vocals.

Rating: 2
love the intro ,it sounds like disco.later on as the song continues to play i have noticed that there was too much digital effects used ,especially in the singer voice which was by the way out-of-tune because of that.melody was complex and not very pleasant,lyrics were not understandable so no comment at all.artist is maybe professional but i can’t understand why did he made such a terrible song

Rating: 1
Like the beat to this song as its very bouncy. Don’t like the song at all,feel like it could offend some people. Very repetitive song as well. Music too loud over the voice at some points. Can’t fault that it’s catchy,found i knew the words after 2 minutes. Doesn’t mean i like it though.

Rating: 0
Im not a fan of this song. The lyrics have no real meaning. this instrumentals are ok but maybe it could be used for a kid friendly song. The vocals are not really vocals it is really just talking. The chours is bot very catchy and overall this song should just be thrown away and maybe the artist should start over with a fresh idea.

Those are the best/worst ones. It was kind of a hassle to get these reviews done, and it cost a bit of money, but I think I might try it again with another song someday, probably with a different service. Not one of the reviews seemed even remotely professional. The most negative ones actually made me happier than the complimentary ones.

Leave YOUR review of “Everyone I Know Is an Alcoholic” below!